Valentines Day, why i hate you

14 Feb

Dear Valentine’s Day (or VD Day as I like to say)-

Valentine’s Day, I am not a fan of you, in fact I really don’t like and maybe even teeter on despising you.  And before you say, “Oh, I am just a bitter single old lady”, I have been very happily married for 8 years!  My dislike for VD day (yeah, I know what i just typed, that was intentional) started wayyyy before I met my husband, in fact you have been making me feel inferior since elementary school.

Let’s start at the beginning, elementary school.  Even at this early age, I was aware that you, Valentine’s Day, is a day that separates the haves from the have-nots.  Sure we all got the little perforated cards with My Little Pony or He-Man on them, because it was mandatory to give one to everyone in the class.  But there was always bigger cards or the cards with the “good” cartoon characters given to the popular kids.  You knew if the giver really wanted to “be yours” or if you just got it by default.

Then comes Jr. High when your sting really starts to burn and not the sting from cupid’s arrow.  My Jr. High’s student council sold carnations as a fundraiser, the pretty girls walked around with bouquets of pink, white and red carnations.  I roamed the halls with one single flower that I received from my best friend because we promised to buy one for each other, although she always ended up with a few from other admirers. Once again, you made me feel “less” than the pretty girls.

In High School it was so obvious that you did not have a boy friend on Valentines Day and there was always some stupid Sadie Hawkins dance, which I never went to.  I wasn’t a troll in high school, but I was not a boy magnet either.  A little chubby (or as my mom called it, baby fat (yeah at 16)), kind of shy, just average…below the radar.  I did have one awesome Valentines Day in High School, I was a Junior and my boy friend was a freshman in college.  He was away at school, I went through the whole day watching couples in the halls and wishing I had my boy to hold hands with.  Last period was Drill Team and the whole team (100 + girls) was stretching in the cafeteria when the aide at the front office delivered me a message that I need to pick something up at the reception desk.  I walked back through the team with a huge bouquet of flowers (our friends mom owned a florist shop and hooked me up).  All the girls were drooling with jealousy and I loved every minute of it.

In College, I threw a huge anti-valentines day party and got real drunk, that was fun, but not romantic.  I can’t remember one Valentine’s Day when I had a date, just the brutal awareness that I was not loved by a man.  What a load of crap!  I was loved by so many other people, but on this one day you whole worth comes down to the fact that you don’t have a boy to take you to dinner.

My husband is a lucky man, he gets a total pass on 2/14.  Thanks to my mom, I am furiously practical and refuse to let him buy me flowers that are 300% more for this week.  DUMB, wait a week and buy me flowers when the go on sale.  Don’t you dare buy me candy or chocolate, because that is not on my diet and I will eat the whole box in one sitting.

For so many years You, Valentines Day, has made me feel inferior, self-conscious and the worse, un-loved.  The EXACT opposite of what the day is supposed to represent.  So now that I am “loved” (because I have a man),I still can’t celebrate this day.  I am so bruised and scarred by the Valentine’s day of the past, that I can’t just forget and pretend they didn’t happen.  I want to forgive you and move on, but I think of all the other women that you are making feel like sh!t today and I can’t.  I wish you would just go away and come back as Friendship day.  A day to celebrate friends, a day to go grab a latte with your bestie.  A day to get a mani/pedi with you co-worker or have a glass of wine with a neighbor.

Sorry Valentine’s Day, I know you mean well, but I just can’t support you and your holiday.  You have plenty of fans and I am sure you won’t miss me.

Your truly,



4 Responses to “Valentines Day, why i hate you”

  1. Chrystal Logan February 14, 2012 at 10:27 am #

    Amen sista, amen!!

  2. Michelle Bouchard February 14, 2012 at 11:21 am #

    This made me lol so much! (not because you had such horrible experiences, but because I lived every one of them!)

  3. February 14, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

    It’s a pagan holiday of sorts around here…it’s all kinnda silly…we laugh about it and get cards, but it stops there. Wonder if we’re in the minority though??!!


  1. TOUGH LOVE « Tough Chik - February 13, 2013

    […] I am not a fan on Valentine’s Day.  Mainly due to the fact that I spent the majority of my Valentine’s Day single (although I have been married for almost 10 years) and the scars remain.  Plus, I think it makes single people feel lonely and disappoints 90% of women in a relationship because we DO NOT live in a Meg Ryan movie. […]

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